Show Me How Good It Can Be.

A letter I wrote for, and read to, our guests at Shabbat a few weeks ago. (With a visualization meditation & journal prompt at the end)

A few weeks ago, after coming home from Summer travels, we decided to have a few close friends over for a chill Shabbat with 4 days notice. A few close friends quickly turned into 65, our “chill” Shabbat became quite the opposite, and it was one of the best nights of my life. I am so deeply grateful for my community, my new life in LA, and the ability to host and gather with such special people, especially to celebrate Shabbat. Here is what I read for our guests before dessert. ♡

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David didn’t have many opinions about tonight.
He didn’t care about the flowers, the linens, the appetizers or how many forks were at the table settings.

The only thing he cared about… the one thing he asked of me…
was that I share something I wrote.

So here I go.

If you really know me, you know that at my core, I’m a writer.

I’ve been writing since I was a little kid, and most of my writing is comprised of poems. Extremely sad poems, mostly... documenting profound heartbreak, heartache and loss.

Somewhere along the way, my writing became synonymous with pain.

I wrote best when I was aching.
When I was grieving.

And for a long time, I thought maybe that in order to create something beautiful,
I had to bleed for it first.

And in the past, when I have found myself in moments of bliss, I’ve tended to almost not even let myself feel them, as if I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Recently, after the singular most challenging year of my life, I looked up one Shabbat and realized that I have gone from the darkest moments of my life, to truly the brightest. And then, almost immediately, I felt a pang of dread. Of fear. Of anticipatory loss.

And then a phrase came to me, almost immediately: “Show me how good it can get.”

I was in shul and I rushed to find pen and paper (one thing you are absolutely not supposed to do in Shul on Shabbat).

I had to write it down- almost as if challenging Gd and saying “prove it”. Prove it! Prove to me that it can be this good, that I can finally let myself feel, that I can finally let myself enjoy. I started to write, and mid-sentence, the word “get” changed. I found myself writing “be”, instead. And then I asked why that was? Why did it change from “show me how good it can get”, to “show me how good it can be”?

To “get” something, you have to work for it. And the opposite of to have, is to lose. versus “to be”- being is effortless, and it is eternal. And even in the face of hardships… you never go backwards. You are forever changed, forever expanded. The view is forever higher, and your baseline is forever shifted.

Recently, i saw a quote plastered in a window that said:
“Where there is love, there is art.”

I had been wracking my brain trying to figure out how I could possibly write something for tonight when I am so fucking happy. Because all I know, is how to create and write when I’m in pain.

And I thought…
Maybe the most powerful creations don’t come from the absence of love,
maybe they come from the presence of the right kind.
The kind of love that expands you.
That sees you. That holds you… both unconditionally, yet also to the standards of your highest self.

And, most importantly, from the love you show yourself.

Because when you finally realize the brilliance your own light… not just in someone else’s ability to hold and reflect it, but as something you emanate everywhere you go, matter what... everything changes.

And that brings me to this moment.

Earlier this week, I was thinking about tonight. I was reviewing the guest list, and became overwhelmed with gratitude.

How blessed am I to be surrounded by such an incredible, dynamic group of friends?

How lucky I am to be so madly in love with my best friend in the world?

And I started asking myself what is the common thread amongst everyone on the guest list? The commonality amongst all of our incredible friends?

People so vibrant. So deep. So magnetic. So successful. So alive.

Because it’s not just luck.
And it’s not just talent.

It’s that you didn’t settle.

Sometimes, in life, we find ourselves in tunnels so dark that we can't see light on the other side. That was me just a year ago. I found myself in a tunnel so dark that I couldn’t possibly see light at the end, or even really comprehend it’s existence. But I had to believe that it was there. And that belief, that emunah, that hope, was enough. I kept going through the darkness… one foot in front of the other, and here we are.

I have to believe that that’s what separates those who get through life from those who live it to the fullest.

In moments when you were in the tunnel, in pursuit of something you wanted so desperately yet had no light in sight to prove that it would be ours, you didn’t turn around.
You didn’t sit down.
You kept walking.

And because of that, you made it to the mountaintop.
You saw the higher view.
And once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.
Your perception of what’s possible is forever changed.
Your baseline is forever shifted.
You operate on a different frequency.
You live more.
You love more.

I always say that manifestation is like a radio station.

We’re all manifesting, whether we’re aware of it or not.
Some of us are just unconsciously tuned into the wrong frequency,
wondering why they don’t like the outcome.
It’s about aligning with a higher frequency, a higher radio station< and being an energetic match for the life you want to create.

Because desires in our hearts are proof they are already ours, we just have to tune in.

So tonight, if you’re still in the tunnel…
please don’t stop.

Everything good… everything real… comes just past the moment you almost gave up. You almost turn around, you almost sit down.

Let this be your inflection point.
Your shift.
Your invitation back to the frequency of who you were always meant to be.

And if you’re already there,
if you’ve felt the shift,
then celebrate it.
Stand in it.
Shine from it.

Because you are the proof that this life…
can be so, so good.

Not one day.
Now.

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Throughout everything in my life, the one thing that’s always brought me back to myself is my journal.

There’s just something about putting pen to paper.
Having an unedited conversation with myself.
And then going back, reading what I wrote, finding patterns and even surprising myself. It’s been so powerful.

It’s also where I’ve scripted the life I wanted, and the life I’m living.
Writing it as if it was already mine.
Speaking it into form before it existed in the physical.
And then watching… sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once, as it began to show up.

So it only felt right to give you a journal tonight.

And yes, I know you probably have many at home.
But my hope is that this one holds a very specific intention:
That it becomes the place where you meet the next version of you.
The one who already has what you’re calling in.

I’d love for everyone to take one minute.. close your eyes... Pause, go inward, and meet the highest version of yourself.

If you knew everything you’ve been calling in was right around the corner,
The love, the breakthrough, the success, the next level version of you…
How would you feel?
What would you let go of?
What would you finally allow yourself to enjoy?

And now, for just a minute, write from the energy of already having it.
Because the moment you become it,
it all clicks. It all starts rushing toward you.

“Take the next minute to let that version of you speak, no pressure, no overthinking… just truth.”

with Love,

Hannah Eve

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